Twilight Town, First Visit:
In Which There is a Homecoming
Roxas changed very quickly, so quickly in fact that Axel couldn't help wondering if he hadn't just torn through his old clothes rather than bothering to actually take them off. The new outfit suited him, though -- the heavier vest; the pants he'd tucked into his boots; even, improbably, the scarf slung around his neck... There was just something slightly more combative about it all than what he'd been wearing before.
The little witch had said, They must have been made for him, originally. But there's something special about these clothes. Now they're for you.
But Roxas hadn't even stiffened. If anything, Axel thought he'd only seemed more pleased with his new clothes. And that -- that real, genuine pleasure -- was more than enough reason to like them, too. Axel had felt his lips twisting into something like a smile, had turned away to start building another corridor, and that was when he felt the staying hand on his arm.
"Let me," Roxas said, and there was no arguing with the calm certainty in his voice.
So far, Axel had made every dark corridor they'd needed -- even the one to Hollow Bastion, after listening to Roxas's careful description of the place he had never been. There had been no discussion, no question; just the unspoken agreement that there was no reason for Roxas to try it and find that his new heart was too full of light to let him manipulate the dark.
Apparently, Roxas had changed his mind.
"...Fine." Axel let go of the threads he'd been pulling together, and slid both hands into his pockets instead, watching the younger boy cautiously. He wasn't quite sure what he would do if the corridor failed to appear -- it wasn't as though he'd be able to get his own in place fast enough to hide what had happened, even from the witch.
But the corridor seemed to come when the blond called, and Axel relaxed, if only a hair, until they had all gone through it and emerged on the other side safely. He was almost ready to dismiss the concern as academic when the corridor shivered apart behind them, collapsing with an unsettling abruptness that didn't quite feel -- controlled.
The girl seemed to notice, too, glancing back at it, but she didn't say anything, just frowned very slightly.
Axel didn't feel like being quite that subtle. "You okay?"
"I'm fine." Roxas was actually smirking at his concern. "Just a little tired. Maybe we should get something to eat before we go."
Sea-salt ice cream, Axel thought automatically. Meat-filled buns with sea-salt ice cream for dessert. It was what they'd eaten every time they came here together.
It was probably what Roxas had eaten every day with his digital friends.
"I'm sure they've got hot dogs or something," he said, and ignored the witch when she turned her doleful eyes on him.
"That sounds great," Roxas agreed, a bit more mutedly. Probably thinking something along the same lines. "Maybe after we head to the mansion..."
And then he seemed to deflate. He really didn't want to do this, Axel saw. Should've said something earlier. Shouldn't have let it get this far. Should've realized what going back to the scene of this particular crime would do to his best friend. But he hadn't said anything, and now it was too late.
"U, um."
It was the girl, glancing uncertainly from one to the other of them. For an instant, looking at her, Axel felt distinctly -- uncomfortable. He had played some role in creating this timid little thing, hadn't he? Finally letting her out of her cage only to abandon her? She would have been easy prey for DiZ, the way he'd left her. The thought made him want to look away, but she caught his eyes and then closed her own, seeming suddenly stronger.
"I'm not very hungry, and I would really like to see them. Donald and Goofy," she added, fearlessly, the same way she'd said Roxas's name when he had been trying not to. "You two go on ahead and get something to eat, while I visit the mansion. If you don't mind. We can meet back by the station tower afterwards."
Her smile, small and soft, was a shock. Axel wanted to tell her then that Marluxia had obviously underestimated her, and maybe even admit that he had, too -- she had been bruised, and beaten, but not broken, and one day she might even fly again -- but it wasn't the right moment. They weren't exactly alone, and he... didn't really have the words to say something like that anyway.
Roxas opened his mouth, hesitating, but slowly nodded. "Thanks, Namine," he murmured.
The witch only shrugged her shoulders, still smiling. "If you buy me a hot dog, I think we'll call it even," she said.
Her quip made Roxas laugh, but Axel only gazed at her a moment longer. She really had changed. He couldn't imagine why or how, but the timing couldn't have been a coincidence. It was as if, by freeing Roxas, she had freed herself somehow.
Good for her, he thought, and was slightly surprised to find that he meant it.
The hot dog didn't taste like much, but at least it was warm, and Axel had learned a long time ago not to expect flavor. He chewed slowly, listening to Roxas's running narration.
"That was Thom," Roxas was saying. He'd been so quiet at first, but it was like once he'd started talking, he couldn't quite make himself stop. "He and his wife run that store. I was his favorite customer." He cast a glance back over his shoulder, restless energy. Axel had the impression that he wanted to look around at everything, talk to everyone, and at the same time wanted to leave right now and pretend they'd never come here.
Some of the others in the Organization could have empathized with him, even if only a little. Being a Nobody meant remembering people who wouldn't have recognized you if you passed them on the street. Roxas had been spared that, until now. Karma was a bitch, but then, that was nothing he hadn't already been well-aware of.
Eventually Axel said, "You knew everyone here, didn't you."
"Well." Roxas had gone very blank, but it wasn't that unsettling, complete blankness. Even in his shuttered moments, he was a little more human now. "I thought I did. But you don't hallucinate living in a town for your entire life without getting to know the people there, right?"
Axel made a noncommittal sound. Roxas took another bite of his hot dog, and then started off in what seemed to be a random direction -- anything, maybe, to put the small store further behind him.
A silence fell between them.
"He didn't know who I was," Roxas murmured at last, not looking at him. "But he didn't seem any different otherwise. I think... I'm still trying to decide whether that's better or worse."
It was probably both. Better to know that not everything he remembered was a lie -- and worse because then those memories actually meant something, couldn't just be discarded or shut away completely.
Of course, actually saying any of that would have involved exposing a lot more of himself than Axel had ever been comfortable with (even if he didn't ask, Roxas would have to wonder how he knew what this felt like), so that was a no. "Hey," he said instead, cracking a smile and slinging an arm around the younger boy's shoulders, "at least mustard's still mustard, right?"
"And still disgusting," Roxas said witheringly, but when he looked up at Axel, the shadows had fled his face. At least for the moment.
Axel chuckled. "Hey," he said, "to each his own."
Whatever Roxas might have had to say in reply was lost as a very different voice said, "Well, well. Here's something you don't see every day."
Male, deep, and sneering. It was also vaguely familiar, although Axel couldn't quite place it as he turned around to face the guy. A blond -- kid, really, just seventeen or so -- in a black ski cap and clothes that just so happened to expose a lot of aggressive muscle. That plus the surly expression made Axel think: small-time streetwise punk. A big fish in a very small pond.
He probably wouldn't have wasted two words on the guy, if not for Roxas's bloodless face.
"Really?" Axel asked lazily. "Which part? The red hair? The tattoos? Or is it just the friend thing that's confusing you? I'd be happy to help clear it all up."
The kid just smirked back, not looking the least bit intimidated; point for him. "It's just that we don't get a lot of new faces around here," he said simply. "And the ones that do show up tend to be a little disoriented. But that's what I'm here for, Red -- to show guys like you the ropes, and introduce you to some of our local traditions, like... common courtesy."
Axel smiled for him, and went to slide away from Roxas -- he wanted both hands free, and he was thinking of maybe straightening up to his full height just for fun (he knew he'd have half a foot on this little boy, and he was interested in seeing whether the sneer slipped any) -- but the sudden, powerful grip on his arm kind of spoiled that.
"Look," Roxas said, "he's sorry he's a jerk." Coolly and unapologetically selling him out, as if this guy hadn't done anything to merit it -- and still squeezing his arm hard enough to cut off his circulation, as if this guy had done ten times more than enough. "But we haven't -- done anything wrong. It's stupid to go picking fights with strangers."
"Strangers? Is that who I'm picking a fight with." The guy paused thoughtfully, and Roxas's grip tightened considerably. Axel was pretty sure he could feel his skin bruising. "Because I could've sworn I was picking a fight with a couple of disrespectful newbies." For emphasis, the kid jabbed a finger in their faces.
Axel stared at him for a long moment, then made a show of arching his eyebrows delicately. "Still strangers, aren't we?" he asked.
But they weren't, not really. From the rooftops he had never caught a name, but put a blue foam bat in the hand leveled at them, and Axel would've been sure. He was looking at the same sneering bastard who'd seemed so intent on harassing Roxas in DiZ's little playground.
"That all depends!" the punk replied, undaunted. "There's strangers, and then there's strangers." He spread his hands demonstratively. "I feel like I know you two jokers just fine already. And somehow, I don't think we're gonna be friends."
"No," Axel agreed, all pleasant and relaxed. "I mean, admittedly I'm thinking now that you probably really don't know what that would look like anyway, but..."
With some satisfaction he watched the tendon quiver in the kid's throat while his jaw locked. It probably wouldn't have been very fair -- this clown couldn't exactly help what DiZ's version had done -- but Axel still might have punched his face in, if not for the now very painful hand on his arm. This was Roxas's fight, in the end... and his call.
The punk seemed to have calmed down. "I might be being extra unfriendly for you two," he admitted, smirking. "But, hey! Maybe it's destiny."
Roxas tore past him so fast that he didn't really let go of his arm so much as -- ripped free -- and, ow, now Axel was bleeding. Call made, apparently. "Do you have something to say to me?"
The air was so intensely charged that Axel thought he could smell the ozone. He'd seen Roxas angry before, but it had always been a cold, controlled anger. This was a little more like a gas fire. The younger boy was liquid tension, hands fisted and shaking. All the stupid little kid had to do was curl his lip, and Roxas would be on him in an instant, keyblades shining.
But the stupid little kid turned away instead, and said softly, "No. I don't have anything to do with you." Then he turned on his heel and left.
Gas fires never last very long, and Roxas kept it burning just long enough to let the punk get out of sight. He fell to his knees, trembling and covering his face with his hands.
"Fucking Seifer," he whispered, and at that moment Axel wanted nothing more than to find the kid, corner him in a nice dark alley, and sic a few Heartless on him.
Oh, who was he kidding. He wanted to do the nasty, messy job himself. Pity Roxas probably wouldn't have forgiven him for it.
They spent a while longer in the square, and in silence. Roxas kept glancing at him, and Axel thought he knew what he wanted -- an answer, to the obvious unasked question.
Is it possible he remembered me?
So many things Seifer had said were a little strange; a little off. Even when he'd finally said he didn't know them -- or had he ever quite said that? -- there had been a tone to his voice, like even if he didn't, he knew he was supposed to.
Roxas wanted to chalk it up to Seifer being Seifer, which apparently meant being a prick, but he was hesitating. He wanted reassurance, one way or the other, and Axel was supposed to provide that.
Only he couldn't.
True, the Twilight Town that Roxas had lived in for so long had been a digital simulation. Even if DiZ had been too vilgehk lazy to make everything up, no one from the real Twilight Town had ever met Roxas. So obviously there was no way anyone from it could have "remembered" anything about him.
But if there was one thing the Organization had learned about the heart, it was that the stupid thing was really... inconveniently... unpredictable. With a power like the little witch's involved, you just couldn't say anything for sure.
So Axel wasn't saying anything at all, except to remind: "We were supposed to get her a hot dog, too."
Roxas shot him a slightly-frustrated glance, but then his eyes wandered back in the direction of the shop, and Axel remembered what going there would involve.
"I'll get it," he said, as if he'd planned on it all along. He had a little munny on him. "You just wait here, keep an eye out for any more members of the Neighborhood Watch."
The look on Roxas's face was complicated, but not ungrateful. "...I'll do that," he murmured, and turned away to scan the area.
Axel watched him for a few seconds, feeling a funny little stir inside, then rolled his eyes bemusedly and took the street he knew would lead him back to the shop and the man named Thom. It was a quick errand, and although the hot dog was more expensive than he expected, Axel still wasn't quite sure why it felt like he was doing some enormous favor. The sort of favor he wouldn't have done for anyone else.
He really was that much of a bastard, wasn't he?
It wasn't an idea that had ever bothered him before, but it bothered him now, and for some reason when he handed off the hot dog and Roxas grinned appreciatively at him, Axel felt -- annoyed.
"Stop it," he said, sharper than he meant to.
The grin slid right off Roxas's face, but his voice was calm. Cooling again, the way it had with Seifer. "Stop what?"
Axel didn't know. He raked a hand through his hair and gestured expansively. "You were going to thank me again, weren't you? Just do me a favor, and don't."
"Fine," Roxas said, closing in on icy. "I won't. What's wrong with you?"
He took a deep breath, and then shook his head. "I'm just... running out of ways to say you're welcome." Axel managed a wan smirk. "It's nothing. No problem. Whatever you need. I'd do it again anytime." He might really have meant that. "So skip it, okay?"
"...Is that all." At least Roxas sounded a little warmer now. "You know," he said lightly, "you're really much more trouble than you're worth."
"Everyone keeps telling me that," Axel returned absently. He still felt tense. "Makes a guy wonder why they keep him around anyway. Maybe they're just a bunch of masochists," he added, with a goading look at Roxas.
The blond quirked his lips into a smile. "I thought it just meant I liked you," he said, and Axel felt the funny stir again, maybe even more intensely. "But I guess that would make me pretty crazy."
He would have come up with some kind of retort, Axel felt sure. Something clever. Something to drive this feeling away. But he never got a chance, because at that moment they crested the hill, and found the witch standing in front of the train station with a whole crowd of too-familiar faces around her.
"...And that's pretty much everything you need to know," one of the boys was saying importantly. "Oh, but if this big guy with this stupid-looking white coat starts going on about 'his town' -- well." The wind seemed to go out of his sails. "...Just ignore him, I guess."
Unlike Seifer, Axel knew this boy's name. Roxas had shouted it as the world he'd thought was his broke apart.
Hayner. The other, chubbier boy was Pence. And the dark-haired girl must have been Olette. They were talking to the little witch, and she had been smiling shyly, but his appearance -- Roxas's appearance -- had brought her up short.
"Roxas," she said softly.
Olette glanced from her to them, and took over quickly, stepping forward and extending her hand. "You must be Namine's friends," she said with a smile. "It's very nice to meet you both." When Roxas didn't take her hand, she took his and shook it firmly.
No one else moved. Hayner hadn't turned to look at either of them, and his chubby friend was staring at Axel's face and hair with unselfconscious amazement. Bemused, Axel wondered how he would have reacted to the black leather trench coat. He'd ditched the conspicuous clothes, but there wasn't much he could do about his tattoos, and he was kind of attached to his wild hair.
"...Right," Roxas said suddenly, coming to life all at once as if he'd been suffering from bad lag. "It's a pleasure to meet you." He shook her hand again, and then released it. "How do you know Namine?"
"Oh, we've only just met," Olette said quickly, waving a hand. "She was sitting here all alone, and..." She smiled a little more. "We were just about to give her the grand tour. You're welcome to come along, of course!"
Behind her, Hayner was finally moving to get a good look at them. He nodded in vague agreement with Olette's statement, but Axel was willing to bet he hadn't really heard it. The boy's brown eyes fixed on Roxas, and the look on his face wasn't quite the same blunt, harmless curiosity he'd seen in Pence.
"Well," Roxas was saying, apparently oblivious, "that sounds -- great, but we really can't stay. We're in a bit of a hurry."
"I was just waiting for them to get back," Namine added, before anyone could so much as frown. Her eyes darted to Roxas's face, quick but unmistakably apologetic. "I didn't mean to make plans. It was nice meeting all of you."
"We'll just get out of your hair," Roxas went on. The stiffness was much less noticeable now, although Axel knew he hadn't really relaxed at all.
Pence laughed. "Don't be silly," he said. "We're just sorry if we were monopolizing your girlfriend!"
"Pence!" Olette had gone pink.
But Roxas didn't miss a beat, just grinned at them both. "Nah, I'm sure my sister had fun talking to everyone. We're just on a tight schedule."
"Uh." Pence rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Sorry."
"I'm sorry too," Olette put in. She looked almost relieved. "Pence is... well, Pence." Then she clapped a hand over her mouth and added, "Ooh, and I'm Olette. I can't believe we forgot to introduce ourselves."
She looked at Hayner expectantly, but he was still staring at Roxas. "He's Hayner," she said at last, clearly exasperated. "You must be Roxas -- and Axel, right? I'm sorry," she went on, scowling at her friend. "Hayner usually isn't such a complete brick wall. Usually..."
"Usually you can't get him to shut up," Roxas finished for her, amused, and Axel glanced at him sharply, but Olette didn't seem to have noticed anything unusual.
Hayner, on the other hand, had. "Roxas," he repeated slowly. "Are you sure we haven't, like... met somewhere before?"
Fuck.
Why hadn't the dumb brat just punched him in the stomach, Axel wondered bitterly. It would've done less damage, and maybe then Roxas wouldn't have gone white again -- pinched and pale, like he'd been at the sight of Seifer, only worse somehow.
"I..." Roxas whispered numbly. "What makes -- you say that?"
The other boy stuffed both hands into his pockets and looked away, kicking at the pavement. "I don't know," he muttered mutinously. "I'm probably wrong. It's just -- this feeling, you know? I can't help it."
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Roxas swallowed, visibly and audibly. He was staring at Hayner like a kid who thought he might've seen a ghost, only this kid wanted to. "Yeah," he said at last, jerking a hand up as if to hide his face. "I -- I feel that way, too."
Were those tears? Axel stared, disbelievingly, but when he opened his mouth, Hayner was already saying, "Hey. It's nothin' to cry about."
And so he was the one to make Roxas laugh weakly and collect himself. "Sorry. I'm -- I'm not usually like this, I promise."
"Oh, good," Hayner said seriously. "Because we don't hang around with sissies."
Roxas laughed again, and Olette elbowed him hard, and Pence made some distant protest, but Axel couldn't make himself focus on any of it.
"Well, it's been strange, but we should get going," he heard himself saying dully. "Tight schedule and all of that."
The little witch added softly, "Maybe the next time we're in town, we'll drop in," and everyone seemed to like that idea.
"Let us see you to train, at least," Olette said firmly, and then looked a bit abashed. "I mean, I know we barely know each other, but -- it seems like the thing to do."
They started up the stairs and Axel listened to Hayner tell Roxas about their fydanmacc Struggle tournament until he couldn't take it any more and had to get out of ear shot. What were they doing? Did Roxas really plan on paying for train tickets just so they could make a more inconspicuous exit? It wasn't like he had the munny to waste on that, was it? But the blond was already getting into line to buy them.
Maybe he'd forget, Axel found himself thinking, and get tickets for all of them.
Or maybe he would just change his mind, and stay right here for the rest of his life -- or however long it took Xemnas to notice that his key had set up shop right outside his fucking door.
Axel went ahead into the train and settled in the car at the very back, but none of the trains in Twilight Town were very big, and with the engine off, he could still hear the muffled noise of their conversation outside. He closed his eyes, and tried to tune it all out.
A few minutes later, something small settled on the seat beside him, and Axel looked reluctantly, but it was only the witch. From the sound of it, Roxas hadn't quite extricated himself from his old friends yet. Axel closed his eyes again.
And was startled when she started talking to him. "You shouldn't be worried, you know."
"Worried?" he repeated, lips curving. "Who, me?"
The little witch ignored this. "He's still your best friend," she said, with such certainty that Axel actually found himself relaxing a hair.
"Don't know what you mean," he told her lightly.
But when Roxas finally rejoined them, looking exhausted and almost relieved to be back in their company instead, Axel realized he'd been holding his breath.
There was something wrong with him. He probably should've been more concerned.
"Welcome back," he said instead, grinning. "Where to next?"
NEXT >>> Hollow Bastion, Second Visit (Part 1)